Peep Geeks

One marshmallow Peep induces a little burst of sugar happiness somewhere along the brain stem. A second marshmallow Peep causes the not-unpleasant sensation of small animals running up and down your spine. A third marshmallow Peep makes the scalp tingle and the eyeballs jitter.

"More than that and you find yourself saying things like "Hey, let's see what happens when you throw marshmallow Peeps in boiling water!"

That's exactly how a dinner party degenerated for Gary Falcon and James C. Zimring, a couple of mad scientists and Peepaholics in Atlanta.

"We had a dinner after which we had ice cream sundaes with Peeps on top," recalls Mr. Falcon. "As our glucose level rose, dementia set it."

They decided to explore the effect boiling water has on marshmallow Peeps. This is your brain on Peeps.

It's not pretty, but for some people those little marshmallow birds are addictive.

"I think he world is divided into two sectors," says Rose Craig, of Just Born in Bethlehem, Pa., the company that makes Peeps and other Easter basket treats. "One sector looks at the Peep and says, 'You eat this? The others just love them."

You can identify Peeps addicts by the wild expression in their eyes at the mere mention of marshmallow Peeps. Peeps addicts are all over the Web, praising peeps ("Peeps are Food!" wrote Connie Radzwion of Mansfield in a Peeps newsgroup); discussing colors; swapping recipes; and running contests such a the annual Peep-Off, in which stanch souls compete to eat the most Peeps. Last year's winner managed to keep down 52 Peeps, while a couple of competitors were disqualified for failing to keep their Peeps in place, one chucking 24 Peeps, the other losing 40.

These things Peeps addicts know for sure: that real Peeps are available only around Easter (although Just Born also makes marshmallow pumpkins and cats for Halloween and Christmas trees and snowmen); that the best time to buy Peeps is on sale the day after Easter, that Peeps are best when they're stale; that color doesn't affect the taste (for the record, yellow Peeps are most popular); and that marshmallow bunnies, while cute, are not the same.

"The bunnies really seem to be weak imposters," says Mr. Falcon. "They're just wannabes."

In addition to craving the sugar high, Peeps addicts are drawn to the Peeps themselves. The little pillowy birds with their delicate, otherworldly sparkle sit placidly in rows of five, peering out of their cherry yellow box with benign expressions.

"They such cute, cuddly little Just Borns," says Mr. Falcon.

And Peeps addicts can't wait to sink their teeth into them.

"It's sort of a frightening comment on human nature," says Mr. Zimring.

Which leads us to the dark side of Peeps addiction. If we love our Peeps, why do we torture them?

"Lots of people eat Peeps stale," wrote one online Peepaholic "…it feels more like you're chewing on something that used to be alive…They put up more of a fight that way. Makes me feel like a mighty hunter, a Nimrod, if you will."

Peepaholics microwave Peeps just for the cruel fun of seeing the little birds puff up, then collapse and harden. Some put toothpicks under Peeps' nonexistent wings for microwave jousting. The winner's toothpick punctures and deflates the loser.

"Captain Infinity" in the Peeps newsgroup says he microwaves Peeps "to scare the cat. She behaves much better after a small 'demonstration.'"

This Peeps abuse hasn't escaped the folks at Just Born.

"We're really sad about that," says Ms. Craig. "Those are our baby Peeps out there and people are doing salacious things to them. They're people with way too much time and too much sugar. We call them Peep Geeks.

Sometimes, however, this freakish behavior leads to greater, if disturbing, truths. Mr. Falcon, administrator for Emory' University's e-mail and conferencing system, has a B.S. in biology. My Zimring has a B.S. in chemistry and a Ph.D in immunology and is pursuing his M.D. for a career in research. Their early boiling-water experiment led to more Peeps research. Last year, they sacrificed about two dozen Peeps to science. The results are enough to send any sugar high crashing.

Peeps don't dissolve in water, in acetone, in sodium hydroxide, or in sulfuric acid. Finally, Mr. Falcon and Mr. Zimring decided to try a substance called Phenol.

"To give you an idea for how icky this stuff really is," they wrote in their Web site, "here is what the Merck index says about Phenol:

Ingestion of even small amounts may cause nausea, vomiting, circulatory collapse, tachypnea, paralysis, convulsions, coma, greenish or smoky-colored urine, necrosis of the mouth and G.I. tract, icterus, death from respiratory failure, sometimes from cardiac arrest. Average fatal does is 15g, but death from as little as one gram has been reported. Fatal poisoning may also occur by skin absorption…"

The Peeps finally succumbed to this forbidding liquid.

However, the scientists were disturbed to note that not even Phenol dissolved the eyes, which are made of carnauba wax, "an edible wax that won't hurt you," says Ms. Craig.

We can only hope.

With such research, the scientists trust, Peeps may someday contribute more to society than sugar headaches. Their indestructible nature, the researchers suggest, may some day come to the aid of humanity. Imagine, they say, artificial Peeps suits worn to clean up chemical spills.

Incredibly, in light of the results of their research, Mr. Falcon and Mr. Zimring remain thoroughly addicted to Peeps.

"Once you get hooked, it's kind of hard to give them up," says Mr. Falcon.