I don't know when I first published this. I do know that we got a new DVD player and are free of that damn remote.

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Today’s topic for discussion is design.

Not cool design. Bad design. Specifically, bad industrial design—the kind of design that makes you aware of design, since unless industrial design is intrusive, we barely notice it.

I will start with bad design as it relates to my morning toilette.

In my shower is a metal corners shelf. I bought at Bed, Bath and BEYOND (insert echo here). It’s got a tension pole and we store our shampoo and conditioners and multiple rusty disposable razors on it. The other day, I noticed large unsightly black flakes in my tub. The tension pole was rusting and large pieces were flaking off. You would think the designers would have considered the possibility that a shower shelf would get wet. I mean, I’m not a professional, but….

Out of the shower, on to the sink. For some reason (so they can sell more toothbrushes) toothbrushes have undergone a renaissance. I can only imagine the toothbrush-related problems that inspired this ...toothbrushing-related carpal tunnel syndrome? Toothbrushes flying out of people’s hands, causing injury to spectators? Fortunately, new-model toothbrushes are ergonomically designed, with all sorts of strategically placed bulges and grips. Toothbrush holders, however, have yet to catch up with these new-generation toothbrushes. The bulbous toothbrush handles don’t fit in holder holes.

Clearly, this industry needs a confab to discuss the future of bathroom organization. Our toothbrushes lie willy-nilly around our sink and that annoys me.

Time to dry my hair. My hairdryer has an on-off switch right where my hand wraps around it, so that I’m continually accidentally turning it off mid hairdry. It’s a small annoyance, but an annoyance nonetheless. Ugly words are spoken.

And now, to dress. I found a pair of wide-leg low-ish slung pants at Ann Taylor that fit so well, I bought three pairs in different colors. The pants fit wonderfully but they require a belt. So, why no belt loop in the center back of these pants? They have loops on the sides, but in the back, where you really need to keep things in place—nothing. Was it really worthy saving the fraction of a cent it would have cost to put another belt loop on when you consider the hours of irritation this causes your customers?

That concludes the grooming part of our discussion, but now I would like to give a special award to the remote control for our Memorex DVD player which, I learned from customer service, is “for some reason” not compatible with any universal remotes.

This remote is about 1.5 inches wide by 4.5 inches long. Tiny. It has itty-bitty buttons marked with itty-bitty type that, even if I fetch my Walgreen’s old lady magnifying glasses, is hard to read. I have to stand under a light and peer.
In addition, there is nothing intuitive about the placement of the buttons. The on-off button is on top, the open-close button is somewhere in the middle, the pause button is nowhere near the play/start/rewind buttons.

And, oh yes, the remote is the only way to access menu buttons on the DVD player, so that’s not an option.

Sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I think of things I’d like to say to the rocket scientist who designed this remote.